somedays are better than others

Bad days happen, I don’t look for them and I never plan for them. I suppose I should… I wish there were some sort of insurance plan against days like this, I’d pay in.

Sometimes I think the universe holds things until it can drop a bundle on your head. Suddenly people have died, you’ve upset your household, your family gets offended (you didn’t even know the offense was happening) and then, the only place you have any solace (work) smashes down around your shoulders. Sheesh.

I struggle to keep up and I try harder than almost anyone I know, I don’t expect extra for this, only to get to by. I find getting by tough on occasion.

Don’t assume this is a pity party. I open myself up for these sorts of things… I have the job, I am accountable for the issue. I love my family, but I can be odd with them. I try to be everything, but I am out of town a lot.

I own a part of all of these problems. But when the insurance for this is issued? I want in. Have a bad day? Be guaranteed a hug, or a moment to be truly cranky, or a nice quiet evening. Nothing huge, just a moment when it doesn’t matter that you screwed up… that you get a free pass, just because you’re human.

Here’s to hoping tomorrow is better.

raining again…

The sky in Autumn… raining. I love the rain. I like the gray dreary days. Maybe its because my birth parents have Irish blood? Or maybe its just because I am not a big outdoorsy type and the rain means I can stay inside.

Whatever the reason, its here and I am content.

I leave for South Caroline on Saturday morning, so the normal “Oh my god, did I remember to pack…?” has set in. I send my huge bag on a prop truck, and hand carry a baby bag. So my big bag has to be packed days in advance, thus the packing panic. It’s silly to panic quite honestly, I mean really, its not like I can’t get stuff where I am going.

I’ll be gone 19 days. As usual I have pre-trip anxiety, and I know it will leave me when the plane leaves the ground.

What a lucky girl I am. Here’s to the gloom and rain of Fall. Splash in the puddles and enjoy the leaves.

genghis: birth of an empire

I was surprised by how much I liked this book. Taken from the translated Chinese stories and histories of Genghis Kahn, with additions all his own. The author has told the story of this leader that is engrossing. Left on the plains with winter approaching and a mother and siblings to feed, somehow Genghis (formerly Temujin) keeps his family alive. It is only after the survival that he seeks his revenge.

I alway try to write about one scene in a film (and sometimes a book) that I was touched by. In this book, it is the breaking of tradition as Temujin, the leader of his family shows affection for his brothers. Unlike other men in the Mongol tribes, who, while they loved their children, did not show it.

the fall

The fall is my favorite season of the year. I live in an area where we have all four seasons and there is nothing like the fall.

The crisp, clear air making deep breaths feel amazing. The overcast sky making the trees seem brighter than naturally possible. Fall feels to me like a an evening after a long day at work, now is the time to relax and prepare for sleep… or in our case, winter.

Getting ready to turn on the furnace, put our deck furniture away and leave this year behind.

another shoot

We leave in a week, for South Carolina. We are shooting on Sullivan’s Island. What a beautiful area, it’s very near Charleston.

How to describe Charleston? When I think of the South, I always think of Savannah… Charleston is quite like Savannah. Old, a little tatty around the edges. Narrow streets with lovely buildings and very large, established trees with Spanish Moss.

Usually its quite hot, or at the very least humid. I hope for good shooting weather. We are shooting the Spring line, so gardens, flowers and water is important.

As always, we shall see.

oregon, and after

Went to Oregon to see my family. My Uncle turned 80, we had a party. The party was great. I think he was surprised.

I think sometimes it’s hard to be part of a big raucous family. It can be hurtful to be surrounded by so much honesty. You know you’re loved, but it can still be tough.

We went to the beach, and we tried to see everyone.

The best thing was, seeing my cousin. My cousin was out of my life for a bit. It should’t of happened, she has played a huge part in my life. When I was younger, when I needed to be loved, she was there for me. There for a bit our relationship was odd. The normal stuff, difference of opinion, whatever. I am here to say it wasn’t worth losing her.  While in Oregon, I saw her a lot. I was glad. I missed her.

Oregon is lovely as always, the trees, being surrounded by so much life, it bubbles up and helps you breathe. It is the best place in the world to relax. At least for me.

On the plane home I thought a lot about what family is. A lot of my family is there. The good the bad and the ugly.

shocking but true

Today I posted 3 times. Before that? It was almost a month since I posted… You may be asking yourselves why? I always post. I am an anal poster. Well kids hang onto your hats.

I wrote a book. A real, honest to goodness 109,000 word book.  It is 126 letter size pages. I am preparing to read it, so I’ve not a clue if its good or not. But there you go. At the very least I did this thing. I wrote for almost 3 weeks solid. I traveled and wrote and I wrote into the wee hours.

It feels good to have done it. Now I’ll edit it and try to see if it has much merit. Then who knows? It was worth the journey. We’ll see.

back to new york

I leave for New York tomorrow. As always, pre-trip anxiety. I will be casting for new model’s and then shooting still product photography in a studio in Hell’s Kitchen.

I love New York City in the Fall. Its crisp and the air is clear. Deep breaths and street fairs. I am looking forward to it.

south carolina 2

Its been almost a month since I posted. Wow, in that time I have been to Charleston. Lovely. The trees with Spanish Moss, the old building of the city center. All of that Southern flair and charm. It was very hot while there and I really thought I might have to kill myself. But luckily all the indoors have air conditioning.

We found some beautiful locations, some are one the islands in and around Charleston, some are in the low country (the marshes). The whole place has a slower, simpler feel.  A bit like Savannah.

The beaches are great. I’ll be back in Charleston on Halloween. We’ll be there shooting. I look forward to it.

south carolina

I leave on Tuesday, once again, this time to South Carolina. I’ve never seen South Carolina, I’ve been to North Carolina… the beaches were beautiful. So we’ll see how South Carolina stacks up.

The South of this country has a beat all its own. Slow, sultry and still. You can feel the South in the air. The food is amazing and filled with comfort, the lipstick always applied perfectly, linens pressed children dressed to perfection. I will be visiting Sullivan’s Island outside of Charleston looking for somewhere to shoot the Spring fashion collection.

As always, pre-trip anxiety shadows me. Until the wheels on the plane are pulled into its belly, I will feel the strong pull of home.

I hope for sunshine, and beautiful locations. Here’s to another shoot. Here’s to all that is beautiful in the world.