karma

I think I am paying a karmic debt. I am not quite sure exactly what I did. I mean I have done things that aren’t nice, said things that aren’t nice and thought things that can’t even have nice in the same sentence.

I am job hunting, trying, and I will continue to try. I will work hard and not be vengeful or mean. I think I am paying for past transgressions. I hope to be clean when this challenging time is finished. I hope to start fresh.

One thing is for certain. As long as you’re breathing you’re alive, and if you’re alive? You can do anything.

Here’s to fresh starts and trying all the harder when all you really want to do is quit.

so here’s the thing, truth is sometimes painful

I have a kid in my life, 14 years old. She is beautiful, funny and mostly good. She is however, 14.

Recently she stole something from me. It was nothing big, or expensive, or something she needed. She just took it. She admitted she took it in an email, and now? Now she didn’t take it.

Whatever.

She came to my house, she sat in my kitchen and she was enjoying herself. I looked her in the eye and told her “what I am going to tell you is going to hurt your feelings, but it’s true and right.” Then I told her if she ever stole from me again I would rain hell down onto her head, I would call the police and press charges. I would leave her with the police to think about it.

She is now quite angry with me. That’s ok, I love her. I told her I loved her. She is so wrapped up in herself she cannot see how she hurts others. I will sacrifice how she feels about me for the betterment of her. I only hope that someday she’ll realize it. That someday she’ll love me again.